end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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