Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
