You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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