He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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