found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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