After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
