things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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