i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
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