i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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