i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
