what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
