heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He better not be in your backpack
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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