i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Boobs are out for the taking
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
