I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You smell like stripper and shame
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize