I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
