playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
