Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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