My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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