Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
