no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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