Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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