K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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