shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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