Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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