k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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