My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
