I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
