No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Houston, we have a squirter
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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