if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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