i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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