you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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