I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
