I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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