Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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