so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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