it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
