I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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