Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
