You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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