I think i peed on brittanys purse
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
