Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
