Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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