Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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