Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize