Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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