So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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