So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize