Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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