nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize