It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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