Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sorry about my life...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
