i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
