yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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