if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
