just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
