2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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