If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Less talking, more tequila
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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