last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
