Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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