I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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