STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
