i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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