Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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