i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
