did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
