you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
