he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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