my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
